Feedback that boosts performance: 6+1 ground rules for senior executives
6+1 techniques, scripts and principles to raise your team's performance without the drama
I am Avy Leghziel, and I am a Management Consultant and Trainer.
I work with senior executives to solve chaotic management and strategy problems.
This is my guide for effective feedback. I wrote it because:
I constantly see executives struggling to give effective feedback. Either they’re afraid of offending, don’t know what to say, or simply vent.
At the core of a manager’s work lies their ability to communicate. If they cannot communicate in a way that directs their team’s performance, they will fail.
There are hundreds of online resources on how to give feedback, but most focus on having a nice conversation rather than outcomes. Giving feedback should be kind, but should not be a rehearsed ceremony.
I’ve seen how managers who learn to give feedback in a concrete and empathetic way, without turning it into a performance or a drama, completely transform their work experience.
I wrote the guide focusing on giving you pragmatic instructions, along with explanations of the rationale behind various practices. Where I wanted to delve deeper into profound ideas, I included a footnote.
I hope it helps you.
The guide comes with an AI-based web app that helps you prepare and manage the feedback conversation. You can access it here. It’s free. It looks like this:
Feel free to contact me at me@avyleg.com if you have questions, particularly complex challenges… or feedback.
Avy
1. The Goal of Feedback
What are you trying to achieve?
You are giving feedback to improve the employee’s performance. That's the goal. Not revenge, not a showdown, not a pep-talk.
In order for feedback to work, you want to lead the conversation by focusing on two aspects:
Review past performance to identify how it can be bring you closer to the results you desire. At the end of the conversation the employee should be able to answer the question “What am I going to do now in order to be better at my job?”
Create an opportunity for mentoring and for advancing the professional growth of the employee. At the end of the conversation the employee should be able to answer the question “What did I learn and how does that make me a better professional?”
Critical note: An employee who consistently resists feedback is a problem for the organization. They need to understand that openness to feedback is part of the job (and a necessity if they want a career). Even the best led conversation won't work. Here, you just got permission to get rid of the painful guy in your team.
2. Why the “Shit Sandwich” Doesn’t Work
The traditional feedback method works like this:
say something positive about the employee
list all the criticisms with no mercy
end with something positive and a forced smile
It doesn't work.
The praise is perceived as fake and only a prelude to criticism.
The criticism overshadows everything else, creating a highly negative overall impression.
That’s why it’s called a shit sandwich. No sandwich is called after the bread quality: everyone focuses on what’s inside - tuna sandwich, cheese sandwich, etc. It’s the same for the sandwich technique in feedback giving. What stays is the criticism in the middle.
The alternative approach I suggest is: the manager and the employee work together to upgrade the employee’s skill set and results. Everyone gains from it - the organization, the manager, the employee. It works every time, if the employee is not a jerk.
In this document I will provide you with the action items, the scripts and the techniques to lead such a conversation successfully.
We'll first understand how to prepare for the conversation, then we'll focus on how to manage the conversation itself, and we'll finish with the follow up to the conversation.
Throughout the guide I'll relate to the most common issues that might arise.
3. Preparing for a Feedback Conversation
3.1 How can you get a full picture of the employee’s work?
It doesn't matter if you are preparing for a 360 degrees performance review or if you want to call in a team member for a quick chat on a specific topic. Before the conversation, you need to make sure you have **all performance-related data.** You can’t give feedback on what’s been done if you don’t know exactly what’s been done. You also don't want to make a fool of yourself and discover that they are actually ticking all the boxes a minute after you toldthem they are on the wrong path.
You want to understand:
What results were achieved?
What results were you expecting?
How long it took?
What did the employee do exactly to achieve those results?
If you don't have that data, ask the employee in advance for a clear and concise report including:
Results achieved.
Resources used.
Actions taken to achieve them.
Make sure to ask the employee to keep the document short enough, to ensure you will actually read it. Ask for the document at least five days in advance, and ask them to receive it at least 48 hours in advance.
Here’s a script you can use. Make sure to adapt it to your needs and to the kind of relationship you have with the employee.
Hi [Employee Name],
To make our conversation useful, it would help if you could pull together a short report ahead of time.
Nothing long — just 1–2 pages that cover:
What results did you achieve? In particular, focus on (Add here the KPIs you are interested in).
What resources did you invest? Including budget, facilities (if relevant), Human Resources (including how much of your time).
A full list of what you’ve done to achieve the results we are aiming for.
Can you please send the report to me no later than 48 hours before our meeting? I want to make sure that I’ll have time to read it properly.
Thanks for putting this together!
Best,
(Your name)
Problem: the employee didn't send anything despite the request.1
Solution:
Make sure to invest the first third of the conversation asking all the questions I mentioned above. If something is unclear to you, keep asking. When you think you already got the full picture, ask "Is there anything else you didn't mention about this project?".
Ask "I asked you to send me a report a few days ago but I didn't receive anything. How come?". Do not ask that at the beginning of the conversation, as that's not what you want to focus on. Ask before the end of the meeting, and clarify that next time you expect them to send the report in time.
3.2 What should you better understand about the work done?
Once you get the report, go through it and write yourself a list (max 5–6) of specific questions to clarify:
Why certain actions were taken (or not taken)?
How did the employee understand and approach the task?
If you have too many questions, prioritize. What questions are necessary to understand what’s going on? What questions focus on details that are not crucial to the conversation?
Identify the delta between achieved and expected results:
What results were you expecting? Are you sure you communicated you expectations to the employee in time for them to make an effort and achieve them?
What is the gap between the results you expected and the results they achieved? What are the consequences of this gap? Why is it worth discussing these consequences?
3.3 Draft Improvement Suggestions and Exit Specs
Prepare a menu of practices that are worth considering to improve performance.
What would you do, if you were the employee? Do not limit yourself to one answer. At least three options. Also, prepare yourself to be challenged2.
Decide in advance on the exit specifications for the meeting:
What concrete objective(s) should the employee leave the meeting with?
What deadline are you giving them?
What are the resources that are available to them? How can you help - without doing the job for them?
You should now have a clear picture of what’s been done, what needs to be discussed, and a few directions regarding what can be done to move forward.
Now let’s see how you can structure the conversation without turning it into a drama.
4. Running the Feedback Conversation
4.1 Opening and Framing
State clearly whether the feedback is about:
The overall performance.
A specific area or task.
Emphasize the shared goal of improving performance.
" Our aim today is to understand what’s going well, what could be improved, and how we can work together to close any gaps in results."
Ask your clarifying questions. Make sure to take note of any information you didn't have and might change what you understood about the situation.
4.2 Present Your Perspective
Share your narrative of the employee’s performance:
What results were expected?
What results were achieved? What results weren't achieved? Based on what data?
What is the gap between the two?
Do not share your hypothesis regarding why there is a gap, or even regarding what works and what doesn't work.
Keep this section to **5–6 minutes max**.
4.3 Get the Employee’s Perspective
Ask:
“How do you see what's been done?”
“Are there facts I don’t know or haven’t understood correctly?”
Take note of differences in perspective. Ask clarifying questions.
Do not start arguing over who's right. State what you agree on, and where you see the differences.
Problem: they start arguing about who's right, or showing resistance. "I really do not see the need to discuss this", "I know what I am doing", "There are no ways to get a better outcome".
Solution: show that you understand their position and explain why the conversation is needed.
"I understand what you are saying: you think that [short summary of their position]. I am being transparent: I am looking for a different results, and I want to explore together how else we can work and what results we can achieve. Let's work together on this please."
Go on, even if they scoff. If they'll keep showing resistance, the problem might be more profound. See the critical note in chapter 1 to understand what I mean.
4.4 Map Out Assets and Problems
Take time to describe the current map: given the progress that has been made and the target destination, what are the existing problems and obstacles? It will help if you literally draw it, or give it a graphic depiction that both of you can look at together.
List all existing problems and obstacles, together.
Ask for each one of them: Why is it a problem? What are the potential consequences?
List all the existing assets, together.
An asset can be: a skill, a personality trait or an expertise; someone who can help; a resource you can use (money, facilities, technology, audience, etc); symbolic capital, such as your reputation, partnerships, etc.
Ask for each one of them: How is this useful? How can this help us make more progress?
4.5 Analysis and Support
For each obstacle:
Ask the employee if it's important enough to deserve attention. If the potential consequences are ignorable - ignore them.
For each relevant obstacle:
Ask the employee how they plan to address it. In particular, ask if any of the assets you listed can be helpful. Can someone help? Do you have any resource that might make the work easier?
Identify how you can support them.
General approach:
Spend time elaborating ideas together on how to solve each problem. Make a list with concrete potential action items and desired outcomes.
Offer direct help only for tasks they cannot do themselves.
Make sure to prioritize your ideas, either in a list or in a timeline. The employee needs to know exactly what are your expectations after the meeting: what they are supposed to do, when, and in order to achieve which result.
Before you summarize, ask:
What didn't we discuss? Is there any obstacle or opportunity that we might regret not addressing?
4.6 Make Joint Decisions
It's now time to make final decisions.
Summarize together:
What the employee will do. This is true also for behavioral change. Let's say you are dealing with an employee who is too aggressive towards their colleague: you now expect them to describe how they will react next time they will be in a triggering situation.
What are the expected results and deadlines.
How (and if) you will intervene.
Ask the critical question:
“If we do these agreed actions, are the chances of achieving [specific quantified result] higher, the same, or lower?”
Move forward accordingly
If same/lower → rework the strategy (go back to point 4.4).
If higher → proceed.
4.7 Check for Understanding
Ask: “From here, how do you want to proceed?”
Listen to the employee when they summarize the conversation, including the desired outcome, the delta and what should change. This reveals understanding and allows corrections.
If some questions remain open, decide together what to do with them. Do they require more time to discuss? Do they require expert advice? Do not leave those questions in the air - integrate them in the plan you devised. Add deadlines for each one of them to make sure that it won't slow down you or the employee. By when you want to get an answer to each of those questions?
4.8 Formalize and close the meeting
Request a short summary email including:
Dates.
Objectives.
Expected results.
Next steps.
Kindly ask the employee to send you the e-mail within 24 hours.
Thank them, affirm the value of their work, and express confidence in their ability to deliver.
5. Follow-up
Straight after the meeting: write down to yourself the main points. You want to keep track, in case the employee will mess up with the summary.
Ensure the summary email from the employee arrives within 24 hours. If they didn't send it, remind them.
Once received:
Review the email and correct inaccuracies, if necessary. Do not open a new debate by email - just state what's different than what you decided in your chat.
Schedule a review meeting. If the conversation was on performance, the review meeting should be after your next deadline, so that you can discuss results. If the conversation was on behavior, the review meeting can be their next performance review.
When you send the invite, include the summary they wrote in the calendar invite. If you made some corrections to it, make sure to add them to the invite.
6. Foundational Feedback Principles for Enlightened Managers
I did my best to give you a structured approach to giving feedback. I am writing here below the first principles. Some of you (probably the best amongst you) will appreciate this.
Good feedback conversations are result-oriented
Feedback is always tied to expected results. It is never generic or abstract.
Your comments are always performance-based, not opinion-based
It relies on data and facts, not assumptions or personal impressions. Quantitative data is great, but qualitative data is helpful as well.
The definition of the outcome needed is clear and specific
It provides enough concrete examples so the employee knows exactly what to do next.
Never use manufactured drama
The tone remains professional without theatrical exaggeration.
The conversation is not personal: it wants to trigger professional development
Never personal. Always about professional capabilities and outputs.
No unverified assumptions are allowed
Avoid guessing motives (“I think you did it because…”). Ask instead.
Model openness, not manipulation
Avoid conditional promises (“If you nail this, the promotion will get closer”).
Raise chances for a mutual learning opportunity**
In high-trust relationships, feedback can include the manager requesting feedback for themselves.
Appendix: Practical Templates
A. Preparation Template (Before the Meeting)
Purpose: Ensure you have all the facts, clarity, and a clear action structure before engaging the employee.
Results achieved: what did they accomplish?
Expected results: what should have been accomplished? Over what period?
Delta: what is the difference between achieved and expected results?
Actions taken: what steps did they take to achieve the desired results?
Unclear points: list up to 5-6 clarifying questions.
Improvement suggestions: what practices could change/improve?
Exit specs: target outcome, deadlines, and resources allowed.
B. Live Feedback Session Template
Opening
“We’re here to review your performance with the shared goal of improving results. This is not about criticism for its own sake, but about understanding what’s working, what’s not, and how we can make progress.”
Step 1: Share Your Perspective (max 5–6 min)
Present data, results, gaps. Ask clarifying questions.
Share your narrative.
Step 2: Gather Their Perspective
“Do you see it differently? Is there anything I might be missing or misunderstanding?”
Step 3: Build a Shared Map
List completed work, missed work, objectives.
Identify obstacles and assets.
Discuss the plan for each obstacle.
Offer your support (only where necessary).
Step 4: Decision Point
“If we do these actions, are our chances of achieving [specific result] higher, the same, or lower?”
Step 5: Closing
Confirm action plan.
Agree on deadlines.
Request summary email within 24 hours.
Thank the employee.
C. Follow-up Email Script (Manager to Employee)
Subject: Summary & Next Steps from Our Feedback Conversation
Body:
Hi [Employee Name],
Thank you for our conversation today. I appreciate your openness and the time you took to discuss both what’s working and where we can improve.
Please send me your own summary email within the next 24 hours to confirm we’re aligned. We have a review meeting scheduled for [date], and I’ll include your summary in the invite.
I value your work and am confident you can deliver on these goals. I’m available if you need any clarification or support along the way.
Thanks,
[Your Name]
If they didn't bother sending you a report, ask yourself why do they feel that it's a legitimate behavior. It shouldn't be.
Did they miss your e-mail? Are you too close and they feel comfortable ignoring your request, knowing that you will forgive them? Are they actually overworked and you should have asked for the report earlier? Do they perceive you as a useless authority, and it therefore doesn't matter if they do what you say or they don't?
Compare their behavior to the other team member's behavior. Do they behave in the same way? Does it confirm or question your hypothesis about the employee's behavior?
Your employee is likely to have understood nuances regarding the daily work that you don’t. ("But I've done his job before!" Relax. They still might have understood stuff you didn't, and their context is likely to be different than yours. Different colleagues, different background... different manager.)